I have always been a bit weird...
Updated: Sep 13
While other girls my age were obsessing over the latest "Babysitters Club" book, I was immersing myself in anything unusual and mystical, learning about the powers of divination, and researching the secrets of the universe. Ghosts, aliens, telepathy and the Yowie...the weirder and more obscure the better.
Along with an innate fascination for the unexplained and esoteric, I became aware very early on that I "felt" A LOT. My feelings and emotions were intense and excessive, disproportionate to the cause, and frequently without known reason. Not only did I face feelings and emotions based on personal experiences, I was consumed by the feelings and emotions of others. Like a Handy-Ultra paper towel I absorbed energy so deeply that I felt I was experiencing it personally. And these feelings were not limited to empathy for friends and family - I was affected by the energy of almost bloody anything! the stranger with a sad disposition; a moth whose flight was cut short on the windscreen; and even stranger - inanimate objects, particularly when their use had expired.
"Highly sensitive", "overly dramatic" and "moody Cancerian" were suggested determinants for this emotional overload. And while inherent biological traits can certainly be attributed to an energy sensitivity (not to mention the water-ruled planetary orgy in my natal chart....which I'll save for another day), there has always been an additional, inexplicable component....
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) teaches us that thought comes before feeling. For someone experiencing apparently unexplainable feelings, this theory is problematic. You know how sometimes you have a "gut" feeling, but there is no logical reason for it? You don't know how or why you know, you just know? This is my basic explanation of intuition.
We all have intuition and experience it at varying degrees. So what to do when you have an intense feeling with no logical explanation? Sometimes you can shrug it off, but other times...the emotion precedes the actual cause or reason for the feeling...and it can make you feel crazy. It's only after something occurs and you can identify the connecting emotion, that you realise you may have just made a prediction.
My ability to "predict" varies depending on my mindset, the level of external "static" and the significance. Sometimes I know exactly what is going to happen, but mostly I just feel that someone has or is going to happen. Before caller ID was invented I would often know who was calling, or I would guess who we might run into at the shops. One memorable night I felt sick and extremely anxious, and took the "cordless" phone to bed "knowing" it was going to call. Not long after I had slid under the covers the expected call came through, with unexpected and significant news...I'm sure no one can forget the moment they learnt of the September 11 attacks.
Within the Family
I grew up in a very small, tight-knit, loving family. I was fortunate enough to inherit a love of books from my studious, scholarly Dad, and an intense adoration for the arts from my exceptionally creative and talented Mum (check out her blog; it's way is better than mine). But enough sucking-up. My agnostic yet liberal parents didn't subject us to regular church attendance, yet they were always open-minded to the paranormal, and the potential existence of another/higher power.
With a lack of extended family and no cousins, my sister, Em, and I grew up extremely close to my uncle; "world-renowned Psychic and best-selling author", Scott Russell Hill. Previously acclaimed as "Australia's most accurate Psychic", but affectionately known as my "Uncle Scotty", he has inevitably had a huge impact on my spiritual beliefs, intuitive development and general curiosity for the unknown. I have been lucky enough receive his guidance throughout my life, and he continues to be the most wonderful, pragmatic (and always crass!) mentor. During the early days of "sleepovers", I would demand all my slumber buddies sit down and listen attentively to Uncle Scotty’s radio show, “Psychic Saturday Night”. No doubt the cause of many nightmares, particularly as I insisted no one could go to bed until they heard the very last ghost or UFO story!
Yes, Uncle Scotty has taught me a lot of life’s essentials, including the word “cunt”. An effective word that still slips into my vocabulary as needed (and when dealing with interesting energies and situations in this arena, it’s always needed). And no tiptoeing around during a reading: sometimes you already know and then “girl, it’s time to let that shit go!”
Tools of the Trade
From a young age Uncle Scotty taught me the significance of numbers and Numerology. It started an obsession of adding numbers everywhere I went to calculate their potential "meaning". From letterboxes to license plates and table numbers, I still subconsciously practice this habit to this day!
My interest in the paranormal only expanded as a got older, as I was introduced to new concepts and was able to study and investigate deeper. While working with numbers is a preferred tool for higher insight, I have also become familiar with planets and astrological charts. Astrology has influences upon the Earth, but does not dictate our actions. Wisdom is gained when we know what these influences are and how to deal with them.
I received my first deck of traditional Rider-Waite tarot cards from Uncle Scotty for my 21st birthday. After enough (several years) procrastination I finally felt ready to study this medium. I now use cards daily to assist with intuitive guidance, and continue to be amazed by the accuracy and level of insight provided.
As this paranormal interest was ingrained in me since such a young age, I never gave much thought to its significance and meaning to others. If I found it fascinating didn’t everyone else?! 25 (odd) years later and (only slightly) more mature, I have come to understand that people have differing reactions to the unknown and varying levels of interest in the this field. Maybe you enjoy a good ghost story and have a slight fascination in the paranormal, or perhaps you utilise your own intuition, with an innate desire to learn and experience as much as you can. In contrast, you may be an unwavering sceptic (completely reasonable considering the amount of shonks out there trying to make a buck “oh yes you are guided by a mermaid goddess of ovulation and she insists you avoid gluten”)...mmm carbs....now where was I? Yes, each to their own I say! My stance regarding this is that if I have an opportunity to provide guidance, utilising intuition and insight received through divine tools, then I will gratefully provide this to those seeking it.
Forever evolving, I continue to research, practice and refine my spiritual practices. While I now utilise my own unique form of intuition and preferred tools, I am truly so lucky to have my Uncle Scotty as my mentor and expert teacher (thank you Sensei). Family has a significant influence on core beliefs and values and I am exceptionally thankful for my supportive parents, not only for encouraging my ideologies, but for also enduring my persistent provision of drama. From hyperactive child to vice-laden adult, your acceptance has prevailed, and your strength, along with that of my miracle son, Wade, continues to inspire me every day.
I will always be a bit weird, and will always have a fascination with the mystical, but my biggest joy will always come from family. In the sanctuary of a Mum's hugs, or the curiosity in my son's blue eyes; this is where I'll always find the most divine inspiration, pure bliss and unconditional love.
Peace and love from the stars to the sea.